The Unseen Pain of Loss: Understanding Somatic Grief and Its Effects on Your Body
Photo Credit: Yuris Alhumaydy, Unsplash
As the holiday season approaches, many are looking forward to joyous celebrations around the table with loved ones. You may be one of them. However, the truth remains that if you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be an especially painful reminder of who is missing at the table. There is no timeframe, age range, or relationship status that is exempt from feeling deeply rooted grief.
Your story is personal and the pain you’re feeling is real.
From a mother who lost her child to an employee who lost a beloved coworker, grief shows up and feels differently in all of us. It’s important to note that how you grieve isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. When it comes to coping with loss and healing the weight of grief, you must first understand and then personalize your solutions.
We often think of grief in emotional terms, but it's essential to recognize the physical and psychological toll it takes on your body. We’ll be diving into what somatic grief means, offering insight into how it affects the mind and body beyond the commonly shown symptoms, and sharing what you can do now to feel better from now on.
What is Somatic Grief?
In simple terms, somatic grief is the physical manifestation of the emotional and mental toll grief takes on our bodies. This can be present as a range of physical and psychological responses that go beyond more commonly discussed symptoms like sadness, crying, and emotional pain. Somatic grief is a complex interplay between the mind and body with many historical integrative studies on these key components:
● Body Memory: Your body remembers trauma and stores it within different parts of your body, including your hips, shoulders, gut, and more. It is common for individuals to experience physical sensations, like a tightness in the chest or stomachaches, when triggered by a reminder of their loss.
● Psychosomatic Symptoms: A direct response to grief can lead to various physical symptoms, including headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and digestive issues. This can ripple into hormonal imbalances that affect your entire body.
● Brain Changes: Somatic grief is closely linked to changes in the brain. Grief, quite literally, changes your brain chemistry by impacting the amygdala, a region associated with emotions and fear, leading to heightened stress responses. Your prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and problem-solving, is also affected. This can make it difficult to cope with once-normal daily life tasks.
How Grief and Loss Directly Affect Your Mind-Body Connection
Understanding the connection between your mind and body in the context of grief is crucial to managing somatic grief effectively. Here are just some ways grief can impact this intricate relationship:
● Stress Hormones: When you're grieving, your body produces higher levels of stress hormones like cortisol. A prolonged stress response leads to a weakened immune system, heightened anxiety, and susceptibility to illness.
● Chronic Inflammation: Grief-related stress leads to inflammation in the body and is linked to a wide range of health issues, from heart disease to autoimmune disorders.
● Sleep Disruption: Grief often disrupts sleep patterns and poor sleep is linked to various health problems including depression. It can exacerbate feelings of sadness and hopelessness, making the grieving process complicated.
● Emotional Overload: The emotional turmoil of grief can lead to physical pain such as headaches, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal discomfort.
Somatic Exercises When Grief Hits Home
The holiday season can be especially challenging with grief and depression during the holidays. Fortunately, there are ways to help you manage your body's response to grief during this time:
● Mindful Meditation: This practice helps you become more aware of your body's response to stimuli, as grief can disconnect that mind-body connection. Meditation has been shown to improve sleep, reduce inflammation, and regulate your emotions consistently.
● Deep Breathing & Movement: The physical movement and controlled breathing in yoga can relieve stress, ease muscle tension, and promote relaxation to help concentration and improve sleep. Try taking deep, even, slow breaths as you do to alleviate physical tension and promote emotional healing.
● Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This anxiety-relieving technique involves systematically tensing and relaxing muscle groups in your body, reducing physical tension and creating a calmer nervous system.
● Professional Somatic Therapy: A trained somatic therapist can help you process your grief through physical and psychological somatic therapy techniques like adaptogenic meal planning and one-on-one long-term counseling.
Photo Credit: Jarle Johansen, Unsplash
Steps to Start Healing Somatic Grief-Related Trauma
Grief is a universal emotion that will touch us all at some point. It shows in the many great writings throughout history about grief that may help you feel understood. One quote that comes to mind is from an unknown author:
“Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love.”
As you navigate your somatic grief during the holidays, here are some ways you can begin to wrap that love around you in positive ways to heal your grief-related trauma.
Acknowledge Your Grief
The first step in healing is acknowledging what you’ve been through and that can take time. Using a journal can help you understand that it's okay to remember those you’ve lost as you navigate your new normal.
Seek Personalized Support
Reach out to friends, family, or a grief support group to share your feelings and experiences. Talking about them can be incredibly therapeutic when you’re ready.
Self-Care
You may be tempted to hide certain parts of your grief, but make time to understand what you feel, think, and want for your life moving forward. Self-care practices like improving nutrition, regular exercise, and quality sleep promote physical and emotional well-being for your benefit.
Create New Traditions
When the holiday season triggers grief, consider creating new traditions to honor your loved one's memory. Including their influence or impact on your life in the festivities can add meaning and strengthen connections during a difficult time.
How Holistic Somatic Counseling Can Help You Grieve
“Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved.” - Author Unknown
If you are located in Jasper, Indiana, and looking for a holistic somatic therapist, I offer a 12-Month Holistic Counseling Program to help you find the best ways to cope with loss according to your personal grief. We can connect in person or via telehealth sessions if you’re not local to the Jasper area.
Our sessions will be about sharing your story of loss and helping you find ways to relieve its pain as you start living in your new normal.
Reach out today to better understand how to heal your somatic grief when you need it most.