How To Heal Adoption Relinquishment Trauma Through Mind And Body Healing
Coming to terms with the complex feelings of being adopted or going into foster care is an enlightening and painful journey. One that doesn’t fit a picture-perfect storybook narrative. It’s easy to see being adopted at birth as an altruistic act that only brings love and light into a child’s life, but it's crucial to acknowledge those feelings that may be lying just beneath the surface.
The first thing to remember: your feelings are valid and you are not alone.
If you've ever internally struggled with embracing your authentic self or wrestled with feelings of abandonment, it may be time to discuss relinquishment trauma.
If you’re ready to start peeling back the layers of your adoption story, read on.
What Is Relinquishment Trauma?
If you’ve never heard of relinquishment trauma before, let’s break it down. Essentially, it is the emotional and psychological effects experienced by those who were separated from their biological families through adoption, typically during infancy or early childhood. Feelings of abandonment and loss, along with identity confusion, often follow.
Being separated from your biological family can leave a deeper traumatic impression that manifests differently throughout your life. This type of trauma is often misunderstood or overlooked. There can be significant psychological effects of being adopted at birth that can be difficult to understand on your own. This should be addressed in a physically and emotionally safe environment with your therapist.
Let’s dive into how the mental and physical impacts of adoption can influence your worldview from early childhood to adulthood.
How Does Relinquishment Trauma Disrupt Early Development?
Research has shown that infants and young children who experience significant disruptions in their caregiving environment, like a separation from biological parents, can suffer long-term emotional and psychological issues. Prenatal experiences like a stressful or traumatic pregnancy can even affect the developing fetus on a genetic level. A disproportionate number of birth mothers are young teens, single, impoverished, or addicted. Adoptees can develop mental health disorders at a higher rate, including ADHD, anxiety, depression, behavioral problems, conduct disorders, and so on.
Brain Development
During the early years of life, your brain is highly adaptable and responsive to environmental influences. Stress hormones like cortisol directly affect brain development for nine months. Separation from the birth mother can leave an unconscious sense of abandonment, which creates feelings of anxiety versus safety. This relinquishment trauma transmits through genetics into early life experiences that shape adoptees’ mental health later in life. This leads to lasting changes in how the brain processes stress and emotional regulation.
Attachment Theory
Developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth, Attachment Theory highlights the importance of relationship bonding in childhood. This is where relinquishment trauma can disrupt the formation of those secure attachments and cause other issues that manifest differently.
The Four Attachment Styles
Secure (healthy child-caregiver development)
Avoidant (dismissive or anxious avoidance in children)
Anxious (preoccupied or anxious ambivalence in children)
Disorganized (fearful avoidance in children)
We develop our emotional well-being and interpersonal relationships at key different stages as well: 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months to 3 years, and 3 years to the end of childhood and into adulthood. Given these windows of development, we can clearly see how healthy attachments and emotional stability can erode through a lack of consistent caregiving. Let’s explore further.
The Long-Term Mind And Body Effects Of Adoption Trauma
In and of itself, adoption is not trauma. The long-term effects come from the psychological detachment from identity that leaves its mark in different areas of your life. As a licensed somatic therapist and from my personal adoption experience, I help my patients find their pain points and gain a sense of self-esteem as they navigate those next steps in finding who they are because of, and despite, their adoption trauma.
How Trauma Can Affect Your Mind
Mental Health: Research shows adoptees are at a higher risk of developing mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and identity disorders. This stems from unresolved trauma from being surrendered at a young age and the detachment between child and caregiver.
Self-Esteem and Identity: Relinquishment trauma can lead to feelings of low self-worth and identity confusion. This is why many adoptees grapple with questions about their origins, birth parents, or finding a strong sense of self.
Relationships: Difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships can be a common struggle. Issues related to trust, intimacy, and emotional vulnerability can come up due to that early disruption in attachment.
Ways Trauma Can Affect Your Body
Hypervigilance: The stress response system in the brain can become hypervigilant and live with heightened reactivity to stressors.
Emotional Dysregulation: The brain's ability to regulate emotions can be impaired, leading to mood swings and emotional instability.
Repression of Traumatic Memories: Some adoptees may unconsciously repress memories and experiences that make addressing and healing from adoption trauma more challenging.
How To Find The Healing And Support You Need
Finding a therapist and a program that supports your personal journey of true healing and tangible growth is possible. In our one-to-one therapy sessions, we’ll safely explore deep-rooted emotions, process trauma, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Therapeutic Interventions: Evidence-based psychotherapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) address your nervous system to help heal the mind and body of past traumas.
Peer Support: Joining support groups can prevent feelings of isolation, and connecting with adoptees with similar experiences gives a sense of belonging.
Self-Care: Practicing self-care techniques is especially beneficial to those who were adopted or in the foster system. By calming the nervous system through mindful meditation and exercise, you can release the trauma stored in your body.
How Holistic Counseling Can Help You
For more comprehensive and long-term support, I offer a 12-Month Holistic Counseling Program to help uncover and rebuild a relationship with yourself and those around you.
If you are located in Jasper, Indiana, and you want to start healing in your adoption story, I want to help you find the right holistic counseling option for you. I also offer telehealth sessions if you’re not local to Jasper.
If you want to start healing your adoption relinquishment trauma with someone who’s been there before, please reach out today to begin your journey.